You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
