haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
