you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
