why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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