last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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