Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
