Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
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I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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