i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
