with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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