At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
