I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Cover your peen. We're going out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
