I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
