How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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