Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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