One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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