I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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