i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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