you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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