I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
