i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
