you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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