Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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