My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
