That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
