theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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