giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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