My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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