Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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