I want to stick my p in your. b.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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