i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
tell me about the eggs
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
