so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
