there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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