Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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