D3 body, D1 cock
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
