absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
