Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I need water and some morals
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
