Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize