I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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