Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
