There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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