no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
