she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize