Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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