he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
