Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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