no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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