So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
