While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
