hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
