you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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