dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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