She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
