that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The air taste purple.
Randomize
