I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
