I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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