Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
