Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize