I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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