i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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